I just finished reading Conrado De Quiro's column (There's the Rub) about destiny. Well, obviously, I'm a fan. Months ago, I began to question certain things; from my personal life, to our country, to the people of our country.
What's happening?
That is the question I really want to get an answer.
Personally, I was feeling exhausted, tired and again, suicidal. I really don't know why I had pitied myself for the past weeks. Thank God, I'm up and about again. Though, I really can't explain why I'm too worried about everything and anything about a certain thing or person. I was too confused why I am passing through the needle's eye. By then, what's happening?
To the citizens of our country, where are we? What's happening? I really can't understand why we keep on mocking each other and continue to maintain our crab mentality. When things get better for the well-offs, the worst things are happening to the masses. Where is our compassion? Students of high-class institutions keep on uttering the English language whereas they are in the Philippines. Where is the nationalistic dynamite within us, the future of the nation?Basta ako, ang alam ko, ginagamit ko ang Ingles sa pagsusulat dahil mas nailalabas ko ang aking sarili sa midyum na ito. Mahal ko ang bayan ko.Eventhough I still regard myself as a little bit bias. Pero nagsasalita ako ng wikang Filipino tuwing nakikipag-usap ako.
What is happening to our leaders? What do they really want? I know people are not perfect but I can't see they are trying hard to serve their countrymen unconditionally.
I just want to point out one hot issue in the field of politics. Sen. Mar Roxas withdrawing for his presidential candidacy to give way to the only son of Sen. Ninoy (who is a co-Bedan) and the late Pres. and Mother of Democracy, Cory Aquino. I think that is a very heroic act; that was a selfless act. Whatever maybe his intentions, he showed all of us that power should not be a crowning glory but an obligation and an opportunity to serve.
I just want to ask the current president, what is happening? Ms. Arroyo, what happened? What will happen? As a youth, as a citizen, i don't know what did your position do to you to make selfish acts; to be a liar and to be a thief!
I believe that every human being is good but still, what is happening? What is happening to the free will that the Most High has given us?
Indeed, what is happening to the world? Continuous recessions, natural calamities, wars, political outbreaks. My mind has been filled with this single question. Sometimes, I just think, that the world itself has bowed down to us.
I just wish all of us would ask ourselves, "What's happening?" and if we would find the right answer, we'll all out it into actions. Actions that everyone can benefit. Actions that can make us all proud that we are human beings: the most beloved creature of the Lord.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Don’t live by the past, leave it.
(as written last Feb. 2009)
It was a hard semester for me. I was trying to pretend I’m okay. After all, I am. I’ve outlived my fears and I am rising up again. I’ve never regret anything that happened to me. I guess this is what God wants to tell and show me.
We always tend to look back. We always see our past. Even love stories are based on the past. I was, back then. But now, I never wanted to. Life has taught me why and I want to share it. I get it. You’ll never understand until you experience it by yourself.
I’m not fond of fairytales. I’m fond of facts; undeniable achieving facts. Deeply rooted manifestation and achieving goals with an ace have been my priorities in my life. What is this? Still with the topic? It is. You’ll get it along the way. Just put a little patience my friend. We’ll get through that.
I just can’t live leaving my past. That’s the biggest issue I had outlived now. Oh my, a lot of obstacles can tell why. I don’t know how many stories I have been repeatedly saying about my past, why I am achieving because of my past, why I am like this, bla, bla, bla. Until I got tired (I think so). I just can’t take the agony anymore. It’s ruining the whole me.
Maybe God wanted me to learn to move on. During my early teen days, I was like, “Yeah right. Move on. You don’t know what you’re saying.” I was wrong. I really don’t know what I’m saying. I’m filled with ‘what if’, ‘but’, ‘how’. The reason is that I kept on looking back on my past. I was confined in a box. I don’t want to take any new steps with my life. I stayed on my comfort zone. Like this, writing. But I’ve done beyond being deep in writing. Way back then, I just want my articles to be read by myself and sometimes, the whole student buddy in our school. Now what? I’ve learned and loved to share my thoughts to anyone else.
Behind me, there’s a voice telling me, “You should be like your mom; very intelligent, introvert, practical.” Many said that I am really like her (intelligently and mentally speaking). So what is this going to do about leaving your past? My! If you can’t be like your mom or dad, leave your own special mark. Don’t hide in their shadow. How did I do it by myself? I studied here in Manila, took up the same course like my mom (‘cause I really love it and it’s my passion!) but I was the first of our clan to study in the lion’s den (mind you I hurdled all those entrance exams). I think I already aced one with that.
Honestly, it’s very hard for me to share it about leaving my past. I did a total mess with my life. Despite of that, I did manage to stand up. Just look up the skies, the birds, the trees, your parents and the only person that will never forsake you. Who else? GOD. I just don’t know how to live another morning without Him. Exaggerated, huh? I’m just telling the truth.
So why live with your past if there’s a long road ahead? Yes, I was asking the same question when I was just beginning to love my very own self, my family and HIM.
Currently, I’m expecting something for myself and my family: seeing my name in the list of second year Accountancy students who are qualified to go take a leap on the next level. I know I did it. I have a positive outlook that God and I did it. I did my best and God put His will on it.
I had an encounter with my major subject professor. He almost dropped me. I was very afraid. Who would not? When he told me about what I did, I felt that it was like the end of my dream. Ahhh! I want to shout. I hurriedly called my mom crying saying I’m sorry. It was one of the hardest things that I told her. But then again, my mom just keeps uplifting me.
I almost gave up. I don’t want to be the talk-of-the-town-for-not-so-good-reason. I already want to transfer to another school. I’m already filing my application form and then suddenly I talked to God on what’s really happening into my life. Don’t give up! That’s what I’ve heard from Him. This is a battle that you should learn how to win.
My desire to achieve more and show other people ‘I can’ made me a stronger person. Sometimes, I can’t just stop looking back at the past. But now, I’m trying to go on. For it is really true that you can only go on with a peaceful mind if you leave behind your past. It is good to make the past as your stepping stone but it is no good to live with your past.
Let me share this to you. Sometime in February, my life is concentrated again in achieving things. I want to excel in everything I do. This is also the time I had a real encounter with God. Know why? I felt so alone, depressed and for a short interval: insane. My! You would really think that was totally awful and it is! Then I finally realized that I was sent here not only to study and get to know more about things but also to get to know more about Him. I took time to reflect on my past. I just think over and over about my past until I said: “Stop!” I really reach that point. I was telling myself: “Hey, girl! Stand up! Don’t stay on the ground. Pick up those pieces and move on. Life has a lot to offer.”
I’m still in the process of leaving my past. Yes, who could give it up in just one click? I’m achieving not because I want it but because I need it. I have my purpose for it. I can say that achieving for me right now is in harmony. I did break rules and that upset me much. I’ve appreciated the laws and everything about rules right now. I still fight. I fight for the right. I still look back. I look back to things for guide. I still love my past but I never wanted to go back. Why? Because life has always been in a forward motion. Not backwards.
It was a hard semester for me. I was trying to pretend I’m okay. After all, I am. I’ve outlived my fears and I am rising up again. I’ve never regret anything that happened to me. I guess this is what God wants to tell and show me.
We always tend to look back. We always see our past. Even love stories are based on the past. I was, back then. But now, I never wanted to. Life has taught me why and I want to share it. I get it. You’ll never understand until you experience it by yourself.
I’m not fond of fairytales. I’m fond of facts; undeniable achieving facts. Deeply rooted manifestation and achieving goals with an ace have been my priorities in my life. What is this? Still with the topic? It is. You’ll get it along the way. Just put a little patience my friend. We’ll get through that.
I just can’t live leaving my past. That’s the biggest issue I had outlived now. Oh my, a lot of obstacles can tell why. I don’t know how many stories I have been repeatedly saying about my past, why I am achieving because of my past, why I am like this, bla, bla, bla. Until I got tired (I think so). I just can’t take the agony anymore. It’s ruining the whole me.
Maybe God wanted me to learn to move on. During my early teen days, I was like, “Yeah right. Move on. You don’t know what you’re saying.” I was wrong. I really don’t know what I’m saying. I’m filled with ‘what if’, ‘but’, ‘how’. The reason is that I kept on looking back on my past. I was confined in a box. I don’t want to take any new steps with my life. I stayed on my comfort zone. Like this, writing. But I’ve done beyond being deep in writing. Way back then, I just want my articles to be read by myself and sometimes, the whole student buddy in our school. Now what? I’ve learned and loved to share my thoughts to anyone else.
Behind me, there’s a voice telling me, “You should be like your mom; very intelligent, introvert, practical.” Many said that I am really like her (intelligently and mentally speaking). So what is this going to do about leaving your past? My! If you can’t be like your mom or dad, leave your own special mark. Don’t hide in their shadow. How did I do it by myself? I studied here in Manila, took up the same course like my mom (‘cause I really love it and it’s my passion!) but I was the first of our clan to study in the lion’s den (mind you I hurdled all those entrance exams). I think I already aced one with that.
Honestly, it’s very hard for me to share it about leaving my past. I did a total mess with my life. Despite of that, I did manage to stand up. Just look up the skies, the birds, the trees, your parents and the only person that will never forsake you. Who else? GOD. I just don’t know how to live another morning without Him. Exaggerated, huh? I’m just telling the truth.
So why live with your past if there’s a long road ahead? Yes, I was asking the same question when I was just beginning to love my very own self, my family and HIM.
Currently, I’m expecting something for myself and my family: seeing my name in the list of second year Accountancy students who are qualified to go take a leap on the next level. I know I did it. I have a positive outlook that God and I did it. I did my best and God put His will on it.
I had an encounter with my major subject professor. He almost dropped me. I was very afraid. Who would not? When he told me about what I did, I felt that it was like the end of my dream. Ahhh! I want to shout. I hurriedly called my mom crying saying I’m sorry. It was one of the hardest things that I told her. But then again, my mom just keeps uplifting me.
I almost gave up. I don’t want to be the talk-of-the-town-for-not-so-good-reason. I already want to transfer to another school. I’m already filing my application form and then suddenly I talked to God on what’s really happening into my life. Don’t give up! That’s what I’ve heard from Him. This is a battle that you should learn how to win.
My desire to achieve more and show other people ‘I can’ made me a stronger person. Sometimes, I can’t just stop looking back at the past. But now, I’m trying to go on. For it is really true that you can only go on with a peaceful mind if you leave behind your past. It is good to make the past as your stepping stone but it is no good to live with your past.
Let me share this to you. Sometime in February, my life is concentrated again in achieving things. I want to excel in everything I do. This is also the time I had a real encounter with God. Know why? I felt so alone, depressed and for a short interval: insane. My! You would really think that was totally awful and it is! Then I finally realized that I was sent here not only to study and get to know more about things but also to get to know more about Him. I took time to reflect on my past. I just think over and over about my past until I said: “Stop!” I really reach that point. I was telling myself: “Hey, girl! Stand up! Don’t stay on the ground. Pick up those pieces and move on. Life has a lot to offer.”
I’m still in the process of leaving my past. Yes, who could give it up in just one click? I’m achieving not because I want it but because I need it. I have my purpose for it. I can say that achieving for me right now is in harmony. I did break rules and that upset me much. I’ve appreciated the laws and everything about rules right now. I still fight. I fight for the right. I still look back. I look back to things for guide. I still love my past but I never wanted to go back. Why? Because life has always been in a forward motion. Not backwards.
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